Career Insight: The First Woman to Coach in the NFL on Teamwork and the Power of Relationships
Jen Welter has had a career of firsts in a field dominated by men. After playing in professional women’s football, the 5-foot-2-inch powerhouse was the first female running back to play for a men’s professional league. In 2015, she became the first woman to coach in the NFL, serving as linebacker’s coach for the Arizona Cardinals of the National Football League. Welter also hosts the Grrridiron Girls flag football camp for girls ages 6-18. Welter’s book, Play Big: Lessons in Being Limitless from the First Woman to Coach in the NFL, serves as more than a memoir about her time in pro sports. It’s also filled with smart advice about how to achieve success through strong leadership and solid support. Welter, who earned her doctorate in psychology and is a motivational speaker, recently reminisced about her days in the NFL on the Knowledge@Wharton show on SiriusXM channel 111. Below are some of her best career insights from that conversation.
I think one of the greatest business lessons or life lessons that we forget sometimes is the power of the individual within a group. That should never get lost. You are powered by your people and your people are your most valuable asset because nothing functions without them. In this industry [football], we often forget that these men are not gladiators. They’re not robots. They’re not super heroes. They’re very real people inside of very real paths.
[Leadership] is about being 100% authentic. It is not trying to coach like somebody else or be like somebody else or lose yourself in the process. It’s realizing that everything about you, every bit of experience that has come to make you exactly who you are, makes you uniquely qualified. You have to honor that voice and that vision because that’s what teamwork and leadership is about — owning your own special sauce and being willing to chime into the conversation.
[Welter wanted to do something special for her players for the first game she was coaching with the NFL’s Arizona Cardinals. She couldn’t go into the locker room, so she decided to write notes to the players to inspire them.]
Writing those notes came from the advice of one of my very dear friends and mentors, who unfortunately passed away, Terry Glenn. We coached together at the Revolution [the Texas Revolution of the Champions Indoor Football League]. Before I left, he said, “Jen, I’ve been thinking a lot about you going to the NFL, and the best advice I can give you is to be 100% authentic. If you are exactly the same person that you were with us here every single day with those guys in the NFL, they will absolutely love you. But if you’re fake in any way, they will sense it and eat you alive.” It’s the truest thing I can say about those guys because they really did embrace what made me different, and part of that was those notes.
It’s the night before this first game and everybody’s talking about me. The pressure is kind of unbearable. I found myself getting too much in my own head. I realized that just as much as it was a big day for me the next day, it was that day for all of my guys. It was that moment that they had dreamt about since the very first time they caught a football and told their mom, “Mom, I’m going to play in the NFL one day.” It was that day.
Each of us has those moments of doubt, moments of weakness, or those voices in our head that maybe aren’t so kind. I wanted the voices in their heads to not be anybody else’s but mine, so I revisited some of the conversations and the moments that we’d had in training camp and the things that I thought they really needed as a person to be successful beyond the playbook. I sat up all night and wrote these notes.
Whether it’s on a football team or in a company, relationships are critical to success. We all know this intuitively, but I don’t think we talk about it enough. We can see it physically in sports when performance varies quite a bit from one day to the next. One day you’re the superstar, the next day you look like you’re in the wrong building. When that difference happens dramatically, the difference isn’t physical, it’s mental.
Generally, what has happened is something outside of your life is impacting your performance. I don’t care how good you are, you don’t always leave those things at the door. Great leaders and great teammates recognize this. Like, “Hey, what’s going on? Do you need to take a minute to talk?” Those little things become really big things, because then it’s not just a job. It’s something that you enjoy doing because of the people that you are doing it with. You know you can huddle up with these people, even when the world isn’t being so kind or something is going terribly wrong, or you’re worried about your child or your mom or somebody outside of there. When you have that relationship with the people that you want to be in the trenches with, that you care about, there’s not much that beats that. It can’t and shouldn’t be overlooked.
Related Links
- The NFL’s First Female Coach Shares Lessons from On and Off the Field
- Jen Welter Hired By Cardinals
- NPR: Jen Welter on Breaking Barriers in Football
- Women’s Sports Foundation
Conversation Starters
What are three things you learned from this article about teamwork and the importance of relationships?
Former NFL player Terry Glenn told Jen Welter as she headed off to coach the Cardinals, “If you’re fake in any way, they will sense it and eat you alive.” Why would being ‘fake’ leave us vulnerable to criticism, especially when we are in a leadership position?
Welter says that great leaders and teammates recognize when something personal is affecting a team member’s performance — and they address it. Wouldn’t it be easier to just say, “Maybe they would rather not talk about it, so I’ll leave them alone.”? Why is it important to “huddle up” as you build relationships?
Three things that I learned from this article and will try to remember for the future is you are powered by your people, leadership from someone had to be 100% authentic, and to always feel free to chime into a conversation.
Being in a leadership position means you have what it takes from your experiences. If you act fake, everything you have learned goes out the window. The people under you will show you disrespect and will not cooperate.
Addressing a teammates problem can help the whole team perform better and become closer. Not talking or fixing the problem will just set it aside for it to get bigger. Its best to talk now and with people you trust than to let it be untouched.
As I read Coach Welter’s perspectives on teamwork and relationships, from both a coach’s point of view and as a life philosophy, one line stood out to me in particular: “[Leadership] is about being 100% authentic.” In a society where appearances and facades can sometimes overshadow true character, the concept of being “100% authentic” is a rare encounter.
Perfection is something humanity has strived to achieve since the beginning of time but this idea is perpetrated with the society we live in today. Nowadays, due to social media and the overwhelming usage of the Internet, an emphasis is placed on projecting an image of perfection and success. Many times, people may feel obligated to wear masks to fit into societal norms or to meet expectations set by others. Coach Welter’s words reminds us that even in today’s world, true leadership goes beyond the superficial, and it is about embracing our true selves with all our strengths and vulnerabilities.
As an athlete, I experienced this idea that Coach Welter presents, this idea that leadership “is not trying to coach like somebody else or be like somebody else or lose yourself in the process. It’s realizing that everything about you, every bit of experience that has come to make you exactly who you are, makes you uniquely qualified.” As a captain, it was my responsibility to lead the team, make strategic decisions on the court, and motivate everyone to give their best effort. At first, I believed that I needed to project an image of unwavering strength and confidence at all times to be an effective leader. However, I soon learned that being authentic and showing vulnerability when appropriate actually made me a more relatable and approachable captain.
Looking back, I can see how I went through a mix of trying to copy traits I admired and growing my own strengths. When I first became captain, I looked up to other successful leaders and thought that acting super confident all the time was the key. I wondered if I was just copying them or if those qualities were truly mine. But as I got deeper into leading my team, I faced times when I wasn’t so sure of myself. Those moments showed me that being real and showing vulnerability could be just as powerful. I figured out that I needed to balance copying admired qualities with building up my own natural ones. I learned that the strength and confidence I admired weren’t just things you could copy and paste. They needed to come from my own experiences and personality. It was like a mix of learning from others and also finding my own way. Leadership isn’t just about being like someone else, it’s about truly being yourself.
This theme that authenticity is crucial to successful leadership can also be seen in the journey of Malala Yousafzai, the Nobel laureate and education activist. Despite facing life-threatening challenges and adversity, she remained steadfast in her beliefs and advocated for girls’ education. Her genuine passion and commitment to her cause have inspired countless people around the world and continue to drive positive change. By being 100% authentic, Malala demonstrated the true essence of leadership – leading with integrity, staying true to one’s values, and fearlessly standing up for what is right. Her genuine passion and commitment to her cause have not only driven positive change but also empowered others to find their voices and pursue their own passions with authenticity.
Let’s not forget Steve Jobs, a visionary leader who never settled for blending into the herd. He didn’t follow the crowd, going on a path of success on his own. Steve’s authenticity and commitment to innovation not only revolutionized the tech world but also unleashed a spark of creativity everywhere.
The power of authenticity in leadership can be seen in so many different cases. From a simple student athlete, to an activist and even to the face of one of the biggest companies. Coach Welter’s words are a reminder to all that authenticity is not just your personality but a powerful force that drives positive change and empowers others to find their voices. As Dwayne Johnson once said, “don’t be the next me, be the first you.”
A common trait among my peers in the Wharton Global Youth Program is a confidence and drive to lead with creativity and passion. Having witnessed so many levels of leadership has had me thinking about what truly good leadership means. When I discovered this article about Jen Welter, I dove in and absorbed every word she said.
“[Leadership] is about being 100% authentic,” Jen Welter explains. “It’s realizing that everything about you, every bit of experience that has come to make you exactly who you are, makes you uniquely qualified. You have to honor that voice and that vision because that’s what teamwork and leadership is about – owning your own special sauce and being willing to chime into the conversation.”
Being “100% authentic” first requires a confidence that comes from understanding yourself through winning or losing your own battles. With every new opponent or situation, you discover different ways of approaching a problem. Facing adversity, on and off the field, you hone strengths and discover your weaknesses. Major setbacks force you to be flexible and adaptable to different ideas. You learn to turn failures into new opportunities. When you finally can find success on unexpected paths, you realize how much stronger and resilient a leader you can be. With “every bit of experience,” you begin to understand how to lead.
Welton’s stress on authenticity is important. Understanding yourself and finding your own “special sauce” will enable you to practice leadership skills respected and trusted by your peers because you are leading from genuine experience. You won’t be viewed as “fake” but as a trusted team player and leader. When Welton stays true to her authentic self with her inspirational notes incorporating shared conversations and moments with her players, she builds relationships. In a 2022 article on leadership, Satya Nadella touches on something similar when he explains how “figuring out the lived experiences of the people on your team” is a key to strong leadership. A strong leader knows to consider those lived experiences especially when performance suffers. Says Welton about life’s difficulties impacting performance, “I don’t care how good you are, you don’t always leave those things at the door. Great leaders and great teammates recognize this.”
Good leadership understands the power of good relationships. “Whether it’s on a football team or in a company, relationships are critical to success,” advises Welton. I recognize the truth in what Welton says from my own experience with nearly failed projects or with difficulties in creating new ones. Often when performance fluctuates, be it on a sports or business team, I have indeed found that “the difference isn’t physical, it’s mental” and that is when good relationships become so important in maintaining success.
Welton’s stress on being “100% authentic” gives me motivation to honor my voice and not look to comparisons and outside validation. You need to understand yourself because, as explained in a 2021 article on Maurice Schweitzer and emotional intelligence, “whether aspiring to lead others or to be effective in a workplace team, success depends in part on your internal and external emotional awareness,” and when you have that awareness, you will be better able to lead with understanding and empathy. These football players are not robots or superheroes but “very real people inside of very real paths.” By being able to empathize and understand, a good leader can support, guide and help bring out the best in others, a leadership quality I found particularly important in times of difficulty or crisis.
Jen Welton’s advice on leadership and the importance of good relationships resonates with my thoughts on how best to prepare for a career in business and entrepreneurship. Her faith in the power of the individual, her call to honor your voice and “your own special sauce” is an empowering way to think about leadership. Any business endeavor is challenging, but if you lead from that kind of strength, successful relationships will follow and “when you have that relationship with the people you want to be in the trenches with, that you care about, there’s not much that beats that.” I wholeheartedly agree. Of all the lessons I have learned this summer, Welton’s words on leadership will continue to shape my upcoming year. Thank you, Jen, for this lesson; I love this vision of leadership.